Train like a man, look like a goddess
I have busted up knuckles. They hurt, especially after the first day when the skin was just broken through and I took a shower. Water + open skin= pain. A couple of guys I know saw me with my knuckles taped up, a little blood coming through. They asked me what happened with this semi-horrified look on their faces. I just smiled and said I was doing bag drills in Muay Thai earlier, and more specifically learning “ground and pound”.
First came the blank look, which slowly turned into confusion,then into a slightly more disgusted look, which was then followed by “That’s feminine“….
My Muay Thai instructor, and a couple other guys I work with, make fun of me because I cannot make a normal fist. I can’t close my fist because I have long manicured nails which I refuse to give up. I was looking at them before contemplating my next nail appointment while I tried on my brand new pink MMA gloves, and relishing in the contrast against my beat up knuckles.
I thought about that comment the guys made the rest of the evening. On the way home, walking the dog, even in the shower while my skin burned and my body ached from training that day. I winced while I shampooed my hair and then started laughing to myself. Why does it matter how someone trains? Why can’t a girl learn to “fight like a guy”? Why can’t a guy be a professional dancer without people making an assumption about his sexuality? The ridiculousness of all these stereotypes makes me laugh.
For the record, I know both females; feminine, sexy , girly females who know how to kick some serious ass and males; masculine, strong, sexy men who are professional dancers. They are all straight ( not that it matters in the least their sexual preference, but people immediately assume the opposite when you fall out of their idea of convention I suppose). And most importantly , they are all AMAZING athletes. I am sure at some point, they all heard the type of comments I have heard, and much worst. I am positive that despite that, they kept excelling at their sport. They continued to train, they followed their passion, and ultimately achieved their goals.
I for one grew up in a house full of boys, all older. As if 3 older brothers isn’t enough, add the endless amount of friends that were always around. The worst thing I could ever be told when I was younger was that I couldn’t do something they did all because I’m a girl. It didn’t make sense to me then, and it makes less sense to me now. Of course anyone who knows me knows that saying I cannot do something is probably the greatest way to motivate me to actually do it. To me, the problem isn’t what someone else thinks I cannot do, it’s only what I think I cannot do.
Someone else shouldn’t dictate our successes and failures in life. They shouldn’t impose limitations on our goals and tell us we cannot achieve them for any reason, least of all because of our gender. It bothers me when people make comments like that, not because it is affecting me, but because of all the people who DO get affected by words like that. I can’t give an exact number, but I have worked in the fitness industry for over 10 years, and ( like any other trainer) I can tell you the difference in the amount of women in the free weight area vs the amount of men is obvious. Same with group fitness classes, only reversed. And that is just in a gym! Can you imagine the people who were afraid to go after some bigger goal of theirs in life than getting in shape?
I am breaking in my new gloves on Friday. I can’t wait. I am debating if I should get my mani/pedi a day before or after though. Tough decision. And while I am being put through whatever strenuous training I will happily endure, I’ll still hear the words”That’s feminine” and laugh. No matter what , someone will always have something negative to say… so it’s better to train hard and know you can kick ass then sit at home and do nothing. 🙂
Filed under: fitness, motivation, Uncategorized | 2 Comments
Tags: bodybuilding, exercise, fitness, health, healthclub, misc, mma, motivation, personal trainer, training, women's fitness, workout
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Cher Martinetti's Blog 
Don’t listen to them. The most feminine women in history – the ones that watch the kids, tend the house, cook, took care of their husbands, in addition to a million other things – have the most calloused hands on the planet. Looking like a china doll is often a red flag that there’s something lacking in the character department.
You did great at class! Keep it up! The wounds will heal, the skills will stay, and the d-bag that said “That’s feminine” can continue an unfulfilled life knowing the toughest thing he will ever do is bicep curl a cafe latte to his lips.
Since I train with you in class and my knuckles look worse (no gloves and wraps while training will do that), I can say some of the people who have made comments to you, are doing the same to me. What I know is that if you love what you do, then you bleed for it. These are the type of people who have never met a mirror they didn’t like. To them, image is everything. I can’t say that I don’t like to look good, but that’s not my end goal. I want to be in the best shape I can and still be strong and flexible. So I do yoga 3 times a week (one of the only guys in the class), do Muay Tai twice a week and will start boxing twice a week and lift three times a week. Bloody knuckles, bruises, muscle soreness, these are things I hold up as badges of accomplishments. F’ the fools who are too ignorant to understand that dedication means sacrifice, to blind that they look at the surface of a person and miss the substance. If you love it, it will make you hurt. Your bloody knuckles are something to hold up with pride. A quiet yet profound way of saying that you are both determined and passionate about your goals and about your life. People will always be there to tear you down, point out how stupid something is, or all the negative consequences of your tough decisions. Those are just the obstacles, the heavy bag we hit, the blood we spit to the floor. They are nothing, but shrapnel to our bombs. They are weak, and you are brave. They are scared and you strong. They are the sweat the pours from our back.